New Lessons

Since the passing of my son, many people have surprised me in their words and actions. For the most part people have been very supportive. Some were not right out of the gate. And then some were supportive for a little bit only then to come back and do and say some very hurtful and many times even cruel things. Why am I telling you this? For this reason: I have learned that it is very important in choosing the people who are in your inner circle of friends. And it is very easy to get caught up in all the praise and "ooh's and ahh's" of those around you. I do. Don't get me wrong, I love people. I love people so much that I want to spend my life helping and serving and setting people free of the lies of the enemy. I think the biggest reason why we hurt each other so badly is because we are hurt ourselves. In the Name of Jesus, I want God to use me to heal everyone who will allow Him and me to touch their lives in that way. But I'm learning that it is important that the right perspective is maintained. Getting too caught up in one person or in a group of people is not fruitful. It only breeds complication. The Word instructs us to guard our hearts. To not perform for the praises of man, but for the glory of God. Why is that? Why is that made so clear to us? Because humans, in all their wonderfulness and beauty, can be fickle. It is with sadness that I admit my own tendency toward "fickleness". And we are going to let each other down. Not maliciously and most of the time not even intentionally, but we are. When I get to wrapped up in what people think of me, and get let down, I take it very personally. It breaks my heart when people tell me that they can no loner have anything to do with me. I automatically begin to think that there is something wrong with me. That is not what God wants for me. He wants me to be rooted in Him, not public opinion. Public opinion changes from day to day, mistake to mistake. He does not.
Here's the other thing I am learning. The enemy uses those we love the most to hurt us. I know that because of my own insecurities and strongholds, he has used me to hurt others. I am sure that I do not even know the extent of the damage I have done to some people, albeit unwittingly, but the damage is done, nonetheless. I am learning that finding my origin, my center, my security in the Lord is really and truly the only way to stay emotionally and mentally stable. It's hard for me to do that. To focus on that. I love people so much. I love to be with others. I love to fellowship. I am a sanguine personality. The quintessential social butterfly. And being around people helps me fight off the lonliness that has come with Ike's passing. But, I am learning that no matter how hard it may be to deny my natural tendency in this area, it is vital that I do.
Finally, sometimes God calls us out of relationship with friends that we love so much. Of the things I've mentioned here, this has been the hardest. I have had to let go of some very dear friends of mine to pursue Him. Why does He do that? Well, what the Lord has shown me is my loyalty and love for those persons are actually keeping me from digging deeper in Him. From knowing Him better and from allowing Him to get into the darkest regions of my heart and heal me. Now if that is true for everyone, I do not know. All I can tell you is what He has told me.
I want feel like I should say this, if you have people in your life that say they are your friends, but are consistantly bringing you down, or you never know what to expect from them, take that to the Lord. The Lord wants His people to be joyful, secure, stable, productive individuals. He does take it personal when someone messes with us or tries to make us feel less than what we are. It is absolutely okay to draw a boundary with those who are speaking negatively about you or to you. Just because someone says you are this or that, doesn't mean you are. Many times the things that people try to call you out for really reflect how they feel about themselves. When something about you needs to be changed or worked on, the Lord will send someone into your life that will take you by the hand and lovingly walk through that change with you. If you have someone wagging their finger in your face or just wakes up and decides one day that you are no longer friends, I guarantee that is not of God and it is not God's desire that the dynamics of that relationship stay the same. Above all, listen to the still small voice within you. Don't ignore it because you afaid of what others might think of you or anything else. I am learning He really can be trusted. That He really will never ever lead you astray.
As always, thank you for reading my words. Until next time, be blessed. <3