A New Point of View

Last night I was given some very good advice. As many of you know the last few weeks have just been unbearable. Out of desperation for relief I followed the Lord and approached a virtual total stranger. I began to tell them what happened and how I have been feeling what must be very very close to emotional torture. This person asked me if I thought my feelings were of God. It took me a minute to catch on to what they meant, but then I realized; my feelings were not. God is peace and joy and love and everything other wonderful thing we can imagine. His Word says that we can experience those feelings in ANY circumstance. So then I said, "but you don't get it, my son was taken from me". And very firmly this person looked me in the eye and said, "My friend, you don't get it. You can turn this around. You feel your son has been taken from you, and I'm not saying that those feelings don't make sense. What I am saying is that you can now choose to let him go. There is not one thing in this life that can be taken from you if you choose to let it go." They also reminded me that Ike is with Jesus. As a mother, we all want the best for our children.Well, what could be better than skipping rocks with Jesus in heaven? He will never know the heartaches of this world. He will never know pain or dissapointment. He will only know peace and love and joy and most of all, he knows the Savior, up close and personal. As his mother, what more could I ask for? They said that now, I have a choice to make. I can hold onto this emotional torture and cry everyday all day. I can be totally self-centered and full of my pain. And rightfully so. But will that bring Ike back? Will it help my surviving children? They pointed out that there is nothing I can do about what happened two and a half months ago. But I can do something about right now. I can choose to let my son go for a time. I can sow him to the Lord. And I can expect a king size knock my socks off harvest. When I do that it no longer becomes about what I lost, but about what we are gaining; about what Ike has already gained. Suddenly, there are options. The tiny box of grief goes away, and the world is at my feet. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this switch of point of view is easy. But frankly, nothing about this is easy. The way I've been going had left me crippled and ineffective, so why not try this new way and see how it works? It can't be any worse than the old way.

So, my sweet sweet Ike... I choose to let you go until we are joined again in heaven. I send you on your way my love and rejoice in the fact that you are skipping rocks with Jesus. I will miss you and am looking forward to seeing you again, but until then (and even then) I am giving you back to Him. I love you, son.
And Lord, I repent. I choose to let go of the pain and the sorrow. I choose to walk out of this box and into this new life. And I expect a harvest, Lord. A harvest unlike anything I can even think to ask. That is what You have said in your Word, and I am counting on that, Lord. I am believing You and holding You to your promises. And when I am tempted to look back, keep me focused Lord. Remind me of who You are and who I am in You. In Jesus Name.